A COURSE offered this summer hopes to provide the means to restore the friendship of couples who may be having troubles with their relationships.
“It’s the friendship of a couple that breaks down. That person is your best friend, that’s what we’re really talking about,” says Devin Pollitt, who will be offering the no-charge five-week course through the Terrace and District Community Services Society beginning July 16.
Pollitt says he hopes to offer the ways and means for couples to help understand each other and that quite often it’s the lack of understanding that causes problems in the first place.
He does warn that the course won’t save a relationship or marriage as couples will get out of it what they put into the twice-weekly sessions.
It’s also meant as a course in which skills such as communication will be taught and should not be regarded as therapy.
Pollitt is basing the course on the work of American psychologist Dr. John Gottman who, in studying marriage extensively, found that foundations established by couples in their early years are crucial for a relationship to continue.
“It’s the quality of the friendship of the couple, the emotional intelligence,” says Pollitt of how a relationship continues and grows.
“There is hope for couples who are going through distress,” he adds.
Pollitt does acknowledge that financial problems are a leading factor in relationship breakdowns but says that’s a symptom of something else.
“Money comes up a lot because you’re always dealing with money,” he says. “That’s just another problem. If you have a healthy relationship and a friendship, that’s the foundation.”
The overall goal of a couple is to go after problems as a team and not individually, Pollitt adds.
Pollitt, who is a candidate for a social work degree and who wants to pursue a masters degree in counselling, expects each session to last up to three hours through a combination of discussion, DVDs, activities and games.
This is an amended version posted July 10, 2012 and contains corrected information from the July 9,2012 version.